Fighting and disagreements are healthy for you. Our response is what matters here. In Netflix’s Formula One documentary, ‘Drive To Survive,’ Toto Wolff of Mercedes shares an important lesson that goes past racing, “When you screw up, you want to identify the person. It’s how the human mind works. But we have a no-blame culture. We blame the problem rather than the person.”
I love watching how sports leaders & coaches work. Great coaches understand people. They know how to bring the best out of each person and get a good result. With Mercedes winning seven consecutive championships, you can’t ignore that their culture stands out. And it is a culture we can emulate in our personal lives.
Think about the last time you quarreled with your partner or someone close to you. Did you vent out and use the words,
“He is inconsiderate.”
or “She is selfish.”?
Perhaps, you even vented to a friend. And, you treated that moment as a game of darts, pointing out every flaw you could see at the moment. You were hoping that you’d hit close to the center. But you won’t.
Venting is a short-term solution. For longevity, you need to study the root of the fight through honest conversation and avoid pointing your finger. It is not you. It is not the other. Find the problem and address that. Only then can you win in your relationships.